Researched from the depths of Irish lore, this story presents the only true historic account of the development of Irish airpower.
-- Don Poole
Leonardi da Vinci, the noted Italian artist, is credited by some historians with the first practical drawing of a flying machine. Hidden in the deep recesses of Irish legend, however, is the true story of the origin of aviation and the beginning of the Irish Air Force.
As every citizen of the Auld Sod, and those who wish they were, knows from birth, it was the holy saint, Patrick himself, who drove the serpents from the sacred soil of the Gaelic Holy Land.
Patrick was known as a great teacher and converter of pagans to the Faith, but not especially for performing miracles. The Irish themselves were capable of doing what approached miraculous and the Little People have not a bit of trouble in accomplishing the impossible. So it was left to the natives of the Emerald Isle to see that the good saints decree banishing the slithery creatures, was carried out.
A massive foray into the beautiful green countryside herded the dreadful creatures to a site near the Blarney Castle in County Cork from whence they could be shipped to a place they would feel more at home. Ireland was not for the likes of them that had caused the loss of the first Eden. They would not have an opportunity to destroy the only other Eden left on this earth.
Leonard ODavince, who was appointed by the good saint as Leprechaun In Charge, laid a plausible plan before the gathered Gaels. Well load a hundred to a crate and ten crates to a plane and fly them all to England. The crowd cheered.
But a wee voice in the rear called out, "what is a plane?"
There was a hushed silence. "WHAT was a plane" the mob muttered.
Do not worry your fione Irish minds about mere details, ODavince told the now concerned citizenry. Ill have the necessary equipment here in the morning. You just get those snakes ready to go.
With typical Irish ingenuity, he beckoned a few banshees to act as stewardesses, ten goggle and scarfed leprechauns as pilots, and called on Icarus, an experienced Greek glider designer, to help build the flying machines.
They labored through the night, formed fuselages from bagpipe reeds and used kilts, wings from gossamer and the leaves of the plant Patrick was fond of using to explain the Blessed Trinity became propellers.
When the ten were ready, they fueled the craft, as well as the crew, with Donegal Dew. The Blarney Airlift, as it was to become known, soon had the reptiles on the way and the Irish Air Force was born.
There was much celebrating on Erins Isle that night. The lads and lassies did their traditional jigs, glasses were raised on high in toast and the greatness of Patrick and the Faith were praised.
But an air of caution and doubt hung over a meeting of the chieftains of the clans. Was the world really ready for such an invention as the plane? As brothers of all men, the chiefs were concerned about the consequences aviation might cause in the undeveloped areas of the world.
They agreed that the only proper thing to do was to classify their discovery and issued a proclamation that would affect the history of the world.
We, the concerned rulers of the Auld Sod, The Emerald Isle, the Greatest Paradise this side of Heaven and the Home of St. Patrick, united in Brotherhood with all Mankind, do hereby deem the invention of the airplane to be a momentous discovery of such magnitude that civilization in its present state, is not yet suited to the understanding and comprehension of the potential of future development. Therefore, all details of its conception and operation shall be kept secret until the Wright Brothers come along, whoever they may be.
Thus the true chronicling of the historic first has been forgotten.
However, the elixir used for fuel on the maiden flight did eventually become a standard treatment for snake bite, without which the American West would not have been won.
Further evidence of this version of mans first venture into the air is the absence of serpents on Irish soil, and the fact than no one has even heard of a snake bitten Irishman.